The Keeper, 1976. Even though it starred Christopher Lee and looked trippy as hell, I quickly became bored when the plot became ridiculously implausible. What??? An implausible plot in a low budget horror movie??? I admit, I watch a lot of trash & that includes many many many completely absurd concoctions. But some nights my patience is better than others. That night, after 30 minutes, I moved on...
Fear No Evil, 1981. True, it's hard to be the anti-christ, especially when it's your senior year and there's so much bad music to listen to. It was fine for what it was. But to be honest, I already forgot most of the movie.
Alice Sweet Alice, 1976. Delicious fun with a very young Brooke Sheilds. I dug this movie, even more so as I was raised Catholic & much of it deals with growing up in the culture of the church. The opening credits were especially minimalist cool with a blank background and a young girl covered in her first communion veil. (For those of you uncatholics...first communion is a big freakin' deal. It's like prom, only there's no dancing, booze, or screwing.) The rather large neighbor with no eyebrows and 20 cats who lived downstairs from the family was a delight every time he was on screen. You know a "delight" in that sweaty, grubby, too-much-touchy kinda way.
The Dead Hate the Living, 2000. Great title. Shitty film. Slow & boring & full of itself.
The Psychic, 1977. Another Fulci I felt I should watch just because it was a Fulci. And after seeing this one...I've decided not to do that anymore. Aside from The Beyond (which I LOVE), I just don't think he's a good director. I know I differ from most horror fans on this, but...oh well. This movie was boring and ridiculous & treated its audience as if it had the IQ of a hamster.
The Johnsons, 1982. Incest is soooo creepy, even more so when you have 7 brothers and you're the only girl...
Picnic at Hanging Rock, 1975. First off, this is NOT a horror movie. So those of you who read this and hate horror movies (memphisartgirl), feel free to check this one out. It was amazing, brilliant, and extremely haunting. One of the most beautiful movies I've ever seen. And talk about metaphors & symbolism!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Any grad student interested in feminist theory, and female sexuality in culture & religion, would have a field day with this one. (Hinty hinty.)
The House with Laughing Windows, 1976. Italian. I totally dug this gothic Italian horror flick. Great look. Great premise. An art expert goes to a little village to check out a something that has been discovered on a church wall. Turns out it was painted by a crazy local artist before he died. Murder & mayhem ensue! Also some bedding of a couple of hottie Italian ladies, some falling in love, and some being gutted alive. The opening credits were creepy and graphic as hell. The cover art for the dvd is the friggin' best. See for yourself...The Bloodstained Shadow, 1978. I kinda sorta don't really remember it, and I only watched it a week ago. Hmmm.
The Case of the Scorpion's Tale, 1971. Italian. A fun who dunnit full of beautiful people who make eyes, have secret rendevous, screw, & kill. One stylish fight scene takes the cake with its bird's eye view & lime green mod apartment setting. Sweet.
Horror Express, 1973. This is little gem came in a pack of fifty horror movies I bought for $20. Stars Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing--two horror greats. Still, I can't help but feel it stole a bit from the original 1951 "The Thing" in which a creature from another planet is dug out of ice and, once thawed, begins using people as hosts. Same thing here, only it's set in 1907 and, like the title says, we're on a train. Things are going pretty much 70's horror movie expected, until Telly Savalas shows up as a Russian officer. He's loud, abusive, and ready to kick some alien ass...though he doesn't realize it's an alien & he plans on kicking everyone else's ass as well, since he's, you know, there and all. His performance steals the whole movie much the way Alan Rickman did in the nauseating Kevin Costner version of Robin Hood. Too bad Telly died only 10 minutes after showing up. Horror Express was gross and fun and the kind of total crap that I like to curl up with while in my jammies drinking hot cocoa. Afterwards I sleep soundly knowing that all is right with the world.
Panic, 1976. Pizza-faced monster terrorizes small town full of people who like to make out in cars or wander off alone away from anyone who might hear them scream.
Silent Night, Bloody Night- This 1974 low budget was fun, even if it was badly written & full of plot holes. I loved the look: muted colors, grainy...I've got to figure out this how this is achieved. Film selection? Or is it what happens to cheap film over time? It had a young Mary Waronov in it, which was a nice surprise. She would later go on to star in Eating Raoul, play Calamity Jane in Deathrace 2000, and portray the hard ass principle in Rock & Roll High School.
Cathy's Curse, 1977. Wow, a whole film in sepia. And not on purpose....
House of the Dead, 197?. This one doesn't even come up on IMDB.com. It came from the same pack o' 50 horror movies. Oh yes, there is some bad shit in there. And I LOVE IT.
Melinda and Melinda, 2005. Interesting idea. Love me some Will Ferrell...but this movie wasn't near as clever as it thought it was. Plus the Woody Allen formulas are just wearing me out.
Horror House on Highway 5, 1980. I tried. I so so so tried. I made it about an hour into it before a quit. You have to admit, what a great title! But a SURE sign of movie suckage is when they put no stills from the movie on the outer box art. They are trying to get you to pick it up and take it home, but they are hoping to hide just how bad things are until AFTER you've paid to rent the thing. I must admit however that when I see such a dvd/video display I go straight freakin' for it. It's like getting the mystery grab bag at the fair. And those usually sucked too... Anyway, the movie didn't know what it wanted to be, where it wanted to go, who was the star, what was the point, or how to end. I will give it credit for one great moment: When the bimbo girlfriend and the stupid jock run over the killer, who wears a Richard Nixon mask by the way, the jock gets killed by breaking his neck. She thinks he's kidding, and laughing gleefully from the relief of just burning rubber over their stalker she exclaims, "You can't be dead!" The laughing fades and she gets out of the car...just as our Nixon clad killer is pulling himself up by the hood. She turns, and in the most convincing, bewildered "you sunk my battleship voice" she says, "You can't be alive." Needless to say it didn't work out well for her. Our anybody else in the film. I "IMBDed" a few of the actors to see what else they'd done. Looks like this was their only film. Truth is, they probably had a blast making it. Drank lots of beer, "hooked up" at the end of the night, and later had great stories to tell their kids.
I also watched Wolf Creek, but need more time before I write about it. I did TOTALLY FUCKING LOVE IT, and highly recommend it to all you fine horror film fans out there.
Listening to:
Sia's Colour the Small One
Wolf Creek Soundtrack
Stay Soundtrack
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